Sometimes being someone with manic depressive anxiety disorder can be a real roller coaster Not knowing if your going to have a good day or a bad one. It if that slightly evil twisted side will come out and take over to be a complete bitch to ones you never want to hurt. Day after day it's emotional ups and downs a feeling of not being well and just fatigued. I've struggled since I was 6. Seeing psychologists since that age. I used to get sick and vomit every time I left home. Agoraphobia they called it Another lovely side effect of anxiety. That one is the hardest. Especially when the person you want to spend your life with loves being outdoors and wandering when all I want to do is curl in a ball and hide from humanity. It's a kaleidoscope of feelings. Turmoil and bliss overwhelming and treacherous My thoughts deceive me on a daily basis. A never ending cycle of dark euphoria I wish I could escape this monster. Run across a bridge to another side of me that never feels lost or hopeless. A place where light exists and I can let life in.
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