Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
April of 2009 I vaguely remember seeing a guy on my MySpace. I am not the type of girl that randomly talks to guys. I had broken up with my boyfriend of 7 years a year beforehand and still had not spoke to other guys. But this one stood out. Let me go back to being 17 years old for a minute. I was always heavily sedated with 7 types of antidepressants and anxiety medications. My brain was fogged and I could barely think. All I remember is dreaming about a man with long raven black hair and deep set eyes. He was there for me in my dreams. Talking to me holding me. I fell in love with a man from my dreams. Crazy huh? Well anyways, I used to draw this guy and became fascinated with long hair and broody eyes. Fast forward to 2009. MySpace lol. This guy stood out to me. I'm incredibly shy so I never make the first move. By that time I was doing photography and searching for models to build my portfolio I just happened to see he was aspiring for modeling so I took a dive and messaged him. We chatted a bit and was surprised to see he lived close to where I was planning to move to (never did move). He had a girlfriend at the time so I didn't flirt. That's just how I am
I deleted that MySpace not too long after and made a new one and added him again. He struck conversation with me this time and we seemed to have literally everything in common. Awesome right?
We talked and webcammed for months until we decided to finally meet. Mind you I was very depressed. Had 0 friends. Partly from agoraphobia. Partly being too shy. We decided to meet September 14th. I was driving there with 2 others. I couldn't stop smiling. I had a real friend. He was always there for me. Calling me every single day. I never called him once. Lol. We just hit it off. So we drive out there and I became extremely nervous. What to say. Phew. He put me at ease. We drove the 3 hours back and hung out listening to music, taking pictures. It was amazing. He was supposed to stay for 2 weeks. Time was drawing close which made me sick to my stomach. One night I got severely sick and basically passed out. The ambulance came and he rode with me. Stayed by my side. The doctors never knew what was wrong with me. I knew then that he was supposed to be near me. It was fate. I fell in love that night. Something happened and to my happiness he decided to stay and live with me. We took our relationship slow. We were best friends. We still are. But in love. A deep connection. He was the one I dreamt of. He was made for me. I stopped taking all of my medicine for depression. I no longer needed them. He brought me out if such a dark place. I will be eternally grateful to him
. My love. My eternal
I can say this with ease.
To the ones who constantly pester and think he will be with you or wants you. Your sadly mistaken
He loves me. Real love
No boundaries.
Your just the past. I am his future. 😁
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